Leading & Thriving with Charlie Kramer | Episode #24

Charlie Kramer, a 30-year-old living with retinitis pigmentosa (RP), shares his experiences growing up with a family history of RP and how it shaped his perspective.

Charlie proudly uses his cane every day and works as a life coach for people with disabilities, advocating for inclusivity and equality. He discusses his journey of accepting his disability and emphasizes the importance of awareness and seeking support. Charlie offers coaching programs to help individuals navigate challenges and build confidence. He highlights the difference between coaching and therapy, stressing the action-oriented approach of coaching. Charlie also discusses the expansion of his business, including hiring support coaches, and invites individuals to connect with him for coaching opportunities. Finally, he shares advice for those dealing with disabilities, emphasizing awareness, seeking support, and connecting with the disability community.

Don't miss out – hit that subscribe button and join us on a journey that's all about smashing expectations, celebrating victories, and embracing the power of the human spirit. Get ready to be inspired and motivated by by Charlie Kramer.

  • INTRO

    00:01:00

    Charlie: All right. Hi. So, my name is Charlie. I'm a 30 year old person living with retinitis pigmentosa, and I've had retinitis pigmentosa my whole life. It's been something that's actually it runs in my family. So unlike a lot of other people who have retinitis pigmentosa or other visual impairments or blindness. I knew what was coming. My family knew what was coming. And I grew up with people around me who also had retinitis pigmentosa. So that was a bit of a unique experience that I actually thought was quite normal. And you know what's really weird, you know? Yeah, it's odd, but for me it was absolutely normal and it definitely shaped a lot of the way that I grew up. But we can get more into the story and in a little bit I just say overall, like I live in Saint Louis, Missouri, with my girlfriend and our sweet dog who's not a guide dog. I use my cane every single day proudly. I love my cane and I work as a life coach for people with disabilities, and that's people who are blind or visually impaired, but also anyone across the disability spectrum. So we've worked with people who use wheelchairs, who have other types of physical disabilities, who have mental health disabilities, who have chronic illnesses, you name it. We've probably worked with someone with it before and it's a big passion of mine and a big need in the community as well. And it's something that I really love doing. And then I get to speak about my blindness and about disability and the ways to treat people with disabilities more, more equally and more inclusively, if that's a word I think it is, with more inclusion. You know, that's a little bit about me and I'm excited to be here. Thanks for having me.

    00:02:41

    Brey: That is so wild. We'll definitely get into more, you know, your business and everything here in a minute. But I really just want to kind of dive in. So you and who else in your family also has R.P.?

    00:02:56

    Charlie: So my mom and my sister both have it. It's just the two of us, kid. Sibling wise. My mom has two brothers and sisters who have it. And then we also have, you know, she has aunts and uncles and, you know, people. Her mom had it as well. So people all throughout the family tree. It's in our family tree to the point where we can't even trace back where it started. Like, it goes beyond the point of us being able to trace our family. So it's a pretty scary thing. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. And it's a dominant gene that runs in our family, so it's a 5050 chance for future kids. And I'm okay with that. I'm actually not really worried about it, to be quite honest with you. So, you know, we I grew up, though, in a situation where my family was much more focused on assimilation, than disability pride, which I think was completely normal for the times. Disability pride is becoming something that's a little bit more popular and acceptable. Back in the day, you wouldn't want to be, you know, known as the blind person or the person who couldn't fully see. And people would think of that as a disadvantage and you wouldn't get jobs and you wouldn't get opportunities and, you know, it was something that was very much on the forefront of my family's minds for a long time. And it wasn't until closer to my generation that people started to use a cane. You know, I saw my mom use an ID cane, but it wasn't a full on, you know, mobility tool. It was just there to tell people, hey, watch out for me if I'm in the grocery store. And my mom and I started using our canes at pretty similar times and in similar moments, not the same age.

    So I was about 24, 23, and my mom was, you know, she's 30 years older than me, she was she was using it, starting to use it, at the same time. And it was a big coming out moment for the family. People were like, my God, his vision must be terrible. Because it's so taboo to have pride for your disability and to say, Hey, look, I'm going to use this cane that's going to help me. And it was a hard transition, but one that I'm very grateful I made. And it's shaped a lot of my present and my future for sure.

    00:05:13

    Breyanna: Yeah, that is incredible. That's awesome that you've got to kind of show your mom that, you know, being blind is definitely something not to be, you know, it's something to be proud of. You know, it's definitely something to embrace because it's not like we could change it, you know, at all.

    00:05:29

    Charlie: Yeah. I will also say that my mom and my sister both had a big influence in me knowing that myself as well. And even though we started using our canes at the same time and I definitely influenced her, she definitely influenced me and always told me like, you know, you can't let it stop you. Here's how we navigate these situations. She always wanted me to be open with people and say, Hey, I can't see this at night or I can't do this right now in this way. And I was very good about that. But I wasn't completely raw and open and I didn't wear it on my sleeve in every moment, which made my life more difficult in certain situations. So that was more of the transition, you know?

    00:06:09

    Breyanna: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so I guess tell us, you know, so obviously you knew about, you know, what was coming. So when did you really did you really start to lose some of your vision?

    00:06:24

    Charlie: Yeah. So I was diagnosed at five and at 15 was when I was told I was legally blind. My sister had driven a car and, you know, I thought, Great, I'm going to take the Ford Windstar, you know, the 96 Ford when I have it as well. And it's going to be awesome. And I started getting my permit and then I went to the doctor and they basically said, this has progressed a little bit faster than we initially thought. And, you know, you can't drive and that's when it became a little bit more real for me. And I immediately got cane training and then put my cane in the drawer and closed it and, you know, put the lock in the lock on the drawer only unlocked it when it got me to the front of the line at Disneyland.

    00:07:03

    Breyanna: Yeah. I feel that. Yeah. So are you using your cane more now?

    00:07:06

    Charlie: yeah. Every day. Every day of my life. Every moment that I'm outside, I use it even in moments where my brain goes. Do you really need it right now? Do you really think so? I just use it because it saves me all the time.

    00:07:26

    Bryanna: Oh yeah. And I feel like it's definitely more helpful when you're out, especially in public and stuff.

    00:07:32

    Charlie: yeah, it's given me the confidence to literally travel Europe on my own. Last year and I went to England and Ireland and I went by myself. No one else was with me. I just had my cane. I didn't have anyone to talk to. I just went for it and I was just using my cane. I didn't have a guide dog or anything and I would not be able to do that if it wasn't for the abilities that I have with my cane and the confidence that I have specifically to advocate for myself and to advocate for what I don't need in certain situations too.

    00:08:05

    Breyanna: Yeah, absolutely. How was it over, you know, in England and stuff when you went over there? I saw like accessibility and stuff.

    00:08:15

    Charlie: I think they have a little bit better than us in America. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's certain aspects that are harder for cane users because some of the roads are older and, you know, like cobblestone and canes and not friends. You know, you get jabbed in the stomach all the time because you're hitting the little divots. But there's specific aspects of it that make a big difference that I don't think are here in America, like I went to in Manchester United football match, a soccer game and I'm a huge Manchester United fan. I went with one of my other friends, Gareth, who also has R.P, and there's an entire disability section at Old Trafford, the stadium, that is designated for people with all types of disabilities, not just people who use wheelchairs and wow, which is awesome. You know, like something that happens in other stadiums in America or other parts of the world. And I think it's a it's a big opportunity for growth. So there's little things like that that I really enjoyed. And I'd say the people over there were really friendly and really wanted to help. And when I said, No, I've got it, they really respected me and I didn't really have any issues. It was an overall good experience and I know that some of that might be the luck of the Irish, but it was it was good.

    00:09:29

    Breyanna: That's awesome. How did you decide that you were just you just decided one day you were going to go by yourself especially?

    00:09:37

    Charlie: Yeah, I was actually. I travel a lot by myself already for work, so I have a lot of practice.

    So I'm used to in airports, I'm used to being on trains. I'm used to navigating tough situations like that and I wanted to go I haven't been back to Ireland in in a long time, and it's a part of my family heritage. And I have family and friends out there. And I just was I just sat on a train. I said, you know what? I'm just going to book the ticket for the summer and I'm going to figure it out. And I did.

    00:10:07

    Breyanna: That is awesome. Definitely, you know, because I've always wanted to even flying just now I'm like, my God, I could never imagine doing it by myself.

    00:10:22

    Charlie: But yeah, you know, it's it's really I mean, we'll talk about it in a little bit. And the work that I do and the coaching that I do, it's really about building a foundation of confidence in yourself, knowing what you're capable of and also knowing what you're not capable of, and being very clear about those two and then learning how to advocate for what you need and what you don't need. Holding healthy boundaries, telling them what your accommodations are and really not taking no for an answer, but doing it in a way that's kind and compassionate, not angry because you don't really get what you want when you when you're presented with anger and frustration.

    Yeah. No, no, really, that's been a big skill. And once you have that and you also know how to navigate with your cane, a lot of the world is is doable, you know, traveling and doing a lot of different things are doable. You just have to be willing to take advantage of the opportunities that are there for you and step out of your comfort zone in certain situations and really ask for support.

    And once you do that, it's it's kind of awesome. You meet great people. You know, I sat in pubs and, you know, people walked me to the chair and put me down and said, I'll take a pint of Guinness. And, you know, that's the thing. And we talked for a while and, you know, you meet people that way, too.

    00:11:31

    Breyanna: Oh absolutely. That's crazy. And you are so, you know, you sound like you know what you're really talking about. This wouldn’t transfer over to your work at all, would it?

    00:11:40

    Charlie: Yeah, it does. I mean, I would I'm, I practice what I preach in a lot of ways and I'm a big believer that, yes, the world needs to be a more accessible place. And there's already a lot of tools and resources that are available and we need to learn how to ask for them and how to use them so that we can take advantage of the opportunities. And we also need to be able to work through challenging emotions so we don't let those emotions decide and decide what actions we're going to take, right. For example, like if I let my fear of the unknown take over, I wouldn't have bought that ticket. I wouldn't have walked into the pubs, I wouldn't have met my family again in Ireland. I would have stayed at home and I would have, you know, been on the couch because I would have been afraid. But I processed through what the fear is and said, What are the options? How can I work through those situations? Is it possible? And then I looked at the facts and they said, okay, this is doable. And then and then you go for it. So you have to be able to work through those different emotions and those different scenarios to be able to make decisions based on your desires rather than decisions based on your fears

    00:13:05

    Breyanna: Wow, you are so well spoken. But okay, so I guess how did you get into starting like your business and everything like that?

    00:13:16

    Charlie: Yeah. So I started my life coaching practice, maybe about three years ago now. And originally I was traveling and speaking and doing a lot of work in the Jewish community. So I was I'm three quarters Jewish and a quarter Irish. I know we talk a lot about Ireland, and so I traveled the world and was a musician and sang and led pieces of music and services and workshops with teenagers and with kids at summer camps and a ton of different things like that. And I did a lot of it acting like I wasn't blind and having no one really know what was going on. And then I gained a lot of training and opportunities to learn how to lead people in different scenarios and how to teach things like mindfulness and learning how to practice mindfulness myself. And once I got certified in a bunch of those different modalities, I started to implement them. When I started to tell the communities that I were that I was in, that I was blind and I would use my cane. And from there I started to realize that there was such an opportunity for education, but also to support people who are going through the same type of transition that I went through but don't have the same skill sets that I do because I was fortunate enough to be able to receive support by learning how to teach it myself. Right? But I also received that support and I learned how to process through my emotions in healthy ways, and I learned how to be aware of the present moment without judging it. And I learned how to set and hold healthy, healthy boundaries. You know, I, I learned all those things while also teaching them. And then it became clear to me that the disabled community really needed that as well. And I wanted to start making a bigger impact in that community, which I felt so connected to. But also was distant from in many ways. And I saw a lot of people online speaking and consulting with companies about how to make the world more accessible and changing the world from that type of a standpoint, right? From how can the world improve? And I wanted to create an opportunity for people with disabilities to change their own world. And then I, you know, started digging deeper and did more training and opened up my business. And it's been amazing ever since.

    00:15:39

    Breyanna: That is incredible. So what type of like, say, someone were to come to you and want to, you know, partake in your business? What kind of what is the process that they would go through?

    00:15:32

    Charlie: Sure. So anyone who is reaching out to me is doing it because they have a desire to grow in some way. And it depends on what type of growth they're looking for. You might be struggling in your relationships, you might be struggling, struggling in your career, might just be struggling with yourself and your own process of like, I have this disability and I'm letting the fear and the struggle and the pain kind of own me and I don't know what to do about it. And every therapist I talk to doesn't get it right because they don't know what it's like to live with a disability. So they'll come to me and they'll fill out a brief form and, you know, give me some information, will hop on a call and just get to know them and see if it's a good fit. And then I have a few different programs that I fit the needs of what people are looking for. One of them is a one on one program where for eight weeks we work together and it's directly with myself. And then there's also a support coach that we have on our team that helps them. And then a new program that's launching officially in a few days. But we've had other iterations of it, is group coaching. It's called Confidently Disabled and it's a rolling based program. So there's always people in the group and this is for people that want to grow, but they also want community. They're like, I've never been around other people with disabilities. I don't know what that's like and I'm nervous and I want to build my social skills. It's a really an amazing opportunity for those types of people as well.

    00:17:15

    Breyanna: Yeah, just to make those connections and everything, that's. Wow. So what is the difference between I guess, coaching and therapy?

    00:17:24

    Charlie: Yeah, so therapy. And I will just say I am a coach, so I believe in coaching, but I am also a big believer in therapy and all and practice it myself. I have a therapist, I go every single week. It's super important. There's the modalities are different where coaching is all built around progress and achieving your goals. It's very action based. What are the issues that you're faced with? How can we build the skills and how can we create action so that we get to the results that you want? It's very much like, okay, this is the problem. Here we go, buckle up right? Where therapy is a bit more of a slower process of self-discovery. And a therapist oftentimes will help guide you through processing different traumas and different emotions so that you can come at life with a different perspective and a new clean slate and really get out all the gunk that's been building up, essentially, which we do some of that in coaching. But it's much more about, okay, this is what you're struggling with. You're ready to start taking action. Good. Here we go. Off we go, you.

    00:18:35

    Breyanna: But it is definitely way more intense now. I wouldn't say intense, but it's definitely a faster paced thing from the way you're talking about it.

    00:18:44

    Charlie: Yeah, it's faster paced, but it's also because the people that come to it have already done a lot of processing of the emotional side of it where if somebody comes to me and they're really down in the dumps and they haven't really it's just the first moment that they've ever come to grips with it and they don't know what to do. I'll say one of two things. I'll say, you know, I would recommend going in, working with a therapist and processing through these emotions, or if I think that they're ready to do both at the same time, I'll say, I would love to work with you and we think you're a good fit and you should also be in therapy at the same time so that you have both opportunities. Because part of what we do is we teach people how to process their emotions in healthy ways. But that's on your own, right? And if you don't have someone holding you accountable for certain people, that can be really challenging. So we want to I always want to make sure that we're setting people up for success, because that's the core the core principle of what we're trying to do.

    00:09:41

    Breyanna: oh absolutely that so how many people do you work with? Like are they all disabled or is it just you or I know what's the I guess working

    00:19:53

    Charlie: so client wise, are you are we talking about the actual employees?

    00:19:59

    Breyanna: So is it. Yeah. Employees or is it just you or is it like

    00:20:04

    Charlie: So for a long time it was just me. And we've recently expanded and hired our first support coach.

    Her name is Kate, and Kate actually is a graduate of one of our programs previously. They live in Denmark, which is pretty awesome, and we work with people from all over the world. So having different time zones available is really helpful. And then I also have a team that I work with that you know, help me with all the marketing and social media aspects of things because that's a whole other ball game too, especially when you're mostly blind. So yeah, that, that's very helpful. And you know, as a unit we're, we're a really good team. It's, it's fun. Hopping on to meetings and working with each other, it's great.

    00:20:47

    Breyanna: That's awesome. So if people, you know, want to try out your program and stuff, where can they find you?

    00:20:55

    Charlie: So the best thing to do is just to go to Charlie Kramer vision dot com, and you can sign up for an intro call through that link and it'll send you to a page where you can choose between the group program or you can choose between the one on one program. And that first call is completely free to you. And you can also just follow me on Instagram too, or a tik-tok whatever profile and whatever platform you find easiest for you. And you can also just send me a message on there and say, Hey, Charlie, I heard your podcast and you know, I wanted to say, Hey, and I'm interested in your program, but I have a few questions and I'll be like, Great, let's talk about it. So I answer every message that I get and would love to just connect with you and even say hi. So make sure to send me a message anywhere that you find me. It's just Charlie Kramer vision. So. Charlie Kramer vision and you'll find me, I promise.

    00:21:53

    Breyanna: Awesome, I'm sure we'll have it linked as well. So I know that you're a very busy person, so we will keep you for very much longer. But I guess one final thing from me, at least before we go, is what advice do you have, you know, for people who are either just coming into a disability or kind of, you know, not really knowing where they are as far as dealing with a disability?

    00:22:11

    Charlie: Yeah. My biggest piece of advice is to know that awareness is the first step and to always remember that just being aware of the issue is an action step. It's part of the progress because for so long, I mean, you just think back to my story. I wasn't aware that I needed the support. I thought the best opportunities for me would come from hiding my disability. And I learned that that wasn't true for me and that it was better to be fully open with who I am, both internally and externally. And that awareness is the first moment of like, Wow, I need to do something about this. And then my second step for you would be to reach out to someone who can help guide you through that process, because it's a really it can be a really long and challenging process to do it on your own and to have support, whether it's through me as a coach or talking with a therapist about it. Try to find someone who has knowledge of disability too, because if you work with someone who doesn't have that knowledge base and they're telling you, Wow, you should really hide your disability, actually, I think that'd be better for you. You know, that could reverse some of the progress that you're making. So trust yourself when you speak with people and work with people that you really connect with.

    And then my final piece of advice would be to connect with community, connect with organizations like yours, connect with people that have similar experiences to you and use the power of social media and its positive ways to connect with people. Because there's a whole community of people on social media with disabilities that are here for you to learn from and to connect with that are really generous and open and just feeling like you're a part of something and that there's other people that are going through what you're going through is a really powerful tool as well.

    00:24:05

    Breyanna: Absolutely. I couldn't have said it better myself. So Luisa, is there anything else you would like to add before we go for today?

    00:24:13

    Luisa: Oh my goodness. I think the first thing I want to add is we have to have you back, Charlie, because I just came up with a slew of questions to ask you. So please consider joining us once again and having maybe another session with Charlie Kramer.

    00:24:32

    Charlie: Sure.

    00:24:34

    Luisa: Yeah. It's fabulous. And the excitement in your voice and and I love the don't hide behind the disability that's so powerful. And there's one thing you did mention earlier that I would love to really take a deep dive into is know how do employers and how do we work with folks with disability. I think that's a challenge for those of us who can see in our passion to bring to the employment world folks who cannot see now how do we mix those two together? So yeah, I would love to have you back, but you're doing great things and I love it. Thank you so much.

    00:25:14

    Charlie: Can I answer that question super quickly with like,

    Luisa: Absolutely.

    Charlie: And then we can dive into it more another time. All said, if you're someone who doesn't have a disability or you're someone who does but has a different disability and you're hiring people with disabilities, ask them questions, listen to their responses and honor what they need and don't. If they say they don't need something, believe them. And if they say they do need something, act on it because you'll find amazing committed employees that way. And it's a good it's a good policy just in management in general. But especially especially for people with disabilities.

    00:25:55

    Luisa: That's powerful. Thank you so much. I'm glad you added that. Thank you so much, Charlie. Yeah, I would love to again, dig deeper into that and how we can best serve. So thank you so much. I wish you much success and we will add a link as we post this. We'll let you know when it's going live and share the link with you and stay in touch with us, please.

    00:26:21

    Charlie: I will. Thank you so much for having me. It's been it's been a pleasure.

    Luisa: Thank you, Charlie.

    00:26:25

    Voiceover: The purpose of this podcast is for the visually impaired young adult community to have an open and accessible forum to share their physical, emotional and educational challenges and to collectively become active and successful contributors to society. Find us on Discord, Facebook, Instagram, DM and Tik-tok and let us know if you have any questions or have a topic you would like us to cover. Description text goes here

Guest User